He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
