Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
