sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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