If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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