Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
