Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
