u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I have post one night stand depression
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
