...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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