dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
