so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
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