I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She said her name was "party"
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Randomize
