It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize