The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
