I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
