In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
