You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize