At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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