Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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