Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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