you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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