The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
