Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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