He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I'm having to shit out rocks
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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