there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
