for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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