After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
my liver is dry heaving
Did you pee in the oven last night??
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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