I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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