Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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