In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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