the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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