Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
