I wannas sexs uuuuu
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
