I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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