If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
