Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i already hear my dad disowning me
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize