Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
