I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
