fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
