just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
