How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
