There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize