too bad you live with your parents still
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
