I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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