if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
