so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
