Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
