Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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