ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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