i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize