Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
