Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Sober January is a disaster.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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