Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
