some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
