Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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