we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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