Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
bring money and cleavage
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
