She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
