i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
