Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Randomize
