I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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