break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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