Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just google imaged poop.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm šš»š
We are so blessed
Itās just hard to believe you really care about me when u havenāt touched my dick in 2 months
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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