I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize