so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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