I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
