Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
