He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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