My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
