FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize