That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
