he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
