I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
