you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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