Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
