Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
